That being said, here are a few things to think about that you will hopefully make you smile…and even laugh at yourself and the consequences of this disease. I like to call this list:

Thank God for Social Anxiety Disorder

1. Thank God for Social Anxiety Disorder…as I now have a perfectly legitimate medical excuse to get out of stale social events like weddings of people I don’t like and funerals for people I liked even less.
2. Thank God for Social Anxiety Disorder…as I now never get asked to make a toast or give a presentation at work…especially since I passed out during my last public speaking opportunity. People who know me now know to never ask me to speak in public…ahh, refreshing!!!
3. Thank God for Social Anxiety Disorder…as I’m too afraid to ask a girl out so I don’t have to get married, watch the relationship fall apart, get divorced and give half of my 401k to woman that I will eventually despise.
4. Thank God for Social Anxiety Disorder…as I’m so quiet and shy that my neighbors never come over to ask to borrow things like my lawn equipment, a cup of flour, or 2 egg whites.
5. Thank God for Social Anxiety Disorder…as it’s definitely better than having erectile dysfunction. However, if I get older and get erectile dysfunction I’ll then have much more to worry about than having Social Anxiety Disorder…at which time I’ll start a list called: “Thank God for Erectile Dysfunction”.

There…now laugh at yourself and go have some fun!

We can beat this!!!

I’ll keep digging if you keep reading!

1.  All-or-nothing thinking: You see things in black and white categories. If your performance falls short of perfect, you see yourself as a total failure.

2. Overgeneralization: You see a single negative event as a never-ending pattern of defeat.

3. Mental filter: You pick out a single negative detail and dwell on it exclusively so that your vision of all reality becomes darkened, like the drop of ink that discolors the entire beaker of water.

4. Disqualifying the positive: You reject positive experiences by insisting they “don’t count” for some reason or other. You maintain a negative belief that is contradicted by your everyday experiences.

5. Jumping to conclusions: You make a negative interpretation even though there are no definite facts that convincingly support your conclusion.

• Mind reading: You arbitrarily conclude that someone is reacting negatively to you and don’t bother to check it out.

• The Fortune Teller Error: You anticipate that things will turn out badly and feel convinced that your prediction is an already-established fact.

6.  Magnification (catastrophizing) or minimization: You exaggerate the importance of things (such as your goof-up or someone else’s achievement), or you inappropriately shrink things until they appear tiny (your own desirable qualities or the other fellow’s imperfections). This is also called the “binocular trick.”

7. Emotional reasoning: You assume that your negative emotions necessarily reflect the way things really are: “I feel it, therefore it must be true.”

8.  Should statements: You try to motivate yourself with shoulds and shouldn’ts, as if you had to be whipped and punished before you could be expected to do anything. “Musts” and “oughts” are also offenders. The emotional consequence is guilt. When you direct should statements toward others, you feel anger, frustration, and resentment.

9.  Labeling and mislabeling: This is an extreme form of overgeneralization. Instead of describing your error, you attach a negative label to yourself: “I’m a loser.” When someone else’s behavior rubs you the wrong way, you attach a negative label to him, “He’s a damn louse.” Mislabeling involves describing an event with language that is highly colored and emotionally loaded.

10.  Personalization: You see yourself as the cause of some negative external event for which, in fact, you were not primarily responsible.

From: Burns, David D., MD. 1989. The Feeling Good Handbook. New York: William Morrow and Company, Inc.

Hope this helps!  We can Beat THIS!!!!

Needless to say I was starting to get panicked that I was going to screw up the whole meeting and lose this client.  Finally, it was my time to get the meeting started and speak for about 10 minutes.  I stumbled a bit at first but forced myself to keep going.  One thing that helped me persevere was remembering that several friends have told me they can never tell when I’m feeling anxious.  Even though I feel like I’m going to burst inside, thankfully, it doesn’t appear that way to others.  However, I have had several people tell me I have sweaty palms alot.  (I try to avoid shaking hands as much as possible but it’s almost impossible to conduct business in our culture without hand shakes).

Fortunately, I made it through the rest of my presentation and was able to sit down and stay for the rest of the meeting.  However, it was very apparent to me that I need to keep working to manage this disease.  It’s probably never completely going to go away.  I can hope for that but shouldn’t expect it.  Meanwhile, this recent flare up reminded me that I need to continue to seek out social anxiety support via friends, counseling and especially working on my cognitive behavioral worksheets.   These CBT sheets may be helpful to you too, so I’ll post them for download shortly.

Hang in there–we can beat this!!!

1.  What percentage of people you treat have social anxiety disorder?

2.  Can you tell me the difference in symptoms between panic disorder and social anxiety disorder?

3.  Will you help me learn some techniques to change my thoughts or cognitions?  If so, what are those techniques?

As you wade into this dialogue you’ll be able to tell very quickly whether or not the therapist is equipped to help you with social anxiety disorder.  If they’re not, it does not mean they’re a bad counselor it just means you might need to keep looking until you find someone who specializes in this disorder.  Hope this helps!

Don’t Give Up!  We can beat this!

1 Peter 5:7 “Cast all your anxiety on God, for you are his personal concern.”

Psalm 46:9 “Be Still! and know that I am God”

Proverbs 3:5 “Trust in Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.”

Psalm 119:14 “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”

And finally my personal favorite:

Philippians 4:6-9

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.”

I hope these verses give you as much comfort as they have given me.  God can help…give him the chance to.

We can beat this!!

However, the reality is this:  MOST PEOPLE THINK ABOUT THEMSELVES MORE THAN THEY THINK ABOUT YOU.  It’s true–humans are selfish and self-absorbed most of the time.  Most of us, including myself, lay our heads down at night and think about our problems, money issues, relationship struggles, etc.  We don’t spend alot of thought time thinking about how stupid someone else is.  However, those of us with S.A.D. like to think everyone is thinking about us all the time and how awkward we are.  This is a lie from the pit of hell.  We don’t know what others are thinking.  We need to challenge ourselves when our brains tell us “Everyone’s going to notice you and your idiosyncracies.  You’re a social loser.”  This is a lie.

Remember, social anxiety disorder does its best work in the land of “make believe”–when we make up lies and believe them.  Fight for the truth and watch much of your anxiety melt away.  Remember people are in general more worried about themselves than anything or anyone else.   As strange as it sounds, we with social anxiety disorder should take comfort in this fact.

We can beat this!

“Avex Entertainment has introduced an interactive DVD called “Miterudake.” In the DVD, 50 women appear and just keep looking at you. This is for shy people to train themselves to get used to strangers. You can choose people of different ages and nationalities.”

Might be worth a try to see if it helps!

1.  Do you have persistent fears before a social situation that you will embarrass yourself and that “everyone will be watching you”?

2.  Do you get increasingly nervous in the midst of social interactions? Or does the anxiety dissipate once you get used to the situation?

3.  Do you believe or have you been told that your fear of social interactions and performance is excessive and unreasonable compared to others?

4.  Do you find yourself avoiding social or performance situations rather than enduring the anxiety that accompanies them?

5.  Do your fears increase in anticipation of most social situations or are they triggered by just a few specific situations such as public speaking or a job interview?

Obviously, these questions are not exhaustive when it comes to diagnosing social anxiety disorder.  But, if you answered yes to at least three of them you might have the disorder.  If you suspect you have social anxiety disorder seek medical advice as soon as possible.  Don’t get discouraged!  Remember, the disease is very treatable.

We do have this disease.  It’s just a fact…there’s no wishing it away.  I think the sooner we accept it and try to manage it rather than fight it the better off we’ll be.  The next attack I have I’m going to re-read this post myself and remind myself to be ok with the fact that I’m going to be anxious from time to time.  It doesn’t make me a bad person, it just makes me a social anxiety sufferer.  But, that’s not what defines me as a person any more than diabetes defines a diabetic.  It’s just a part of the deal down here.  We’ve all got maladies, dysfunctions and disorders.  Let’s help each other accept it and get on with life the best we can with what we’ve got!